Mou Sukoshi

where does the time go

My mom showed me some pictures of when me, my brother, and my sister were kids today. She had gotten them from her sister at the family reunion. She also had a picture of herself when she was 15. She was pretty cute lol. She had a pic of me, my bro, and my sis with my grandmother as well. I was very young when my grandmother on my mom's side died so I couldn't even recall her face. Is nice to see a picture of her. I've included a picture of me when I was like 5, the pic of my mom when she was 15, and the pic with us kids with our grandmother for everybody to enjoy :)

On another note, I failed one of my tests the other day (just got the results back today). It was a test on AIDS and hepititis. I made a 55. That's the first bad grade I've gotten since I started. Oh well, at least I get to retake it. I'll be sure to get all of the answers correct this time so I can have an 80 bleh. I wasn't the only one who failed it either, most of the class did. Were like 4 or 5 out of the 15 who managed to pass. A lot of people did fail at least one or two tests so I guess I was lucky to just miss that one. I got 85 on one tests and 100 on the two tests on abbreviations so I'm doing pretty damn good so far.

all alone

My mom left for the family reunion Friday morning. She won't be back until Sunday night or Monday morning. I must say that it feels good to be completely alone for a change. I didn't think it would be so relaxing. I stick to my room pretty much anyways but complete silence with nobody here is just godly.

I went back for my TB results Friday and I guess everything is fine. The instructor described what it would have looked like if you had a positive test and it was pretty gross. A puss infected dent in your arm is basically what she said it would look like *shiver*. I took three tests Friday. The first one was on AIDS/HIV and hepatitis and well I think I failed it. You'd think I'd know about aids and shit like that. I think I thought so too so I was focusing more on the hepatitis information and because of that I fucked myself over. Oh well, I'll be able to retake it, but the max I could get is an 80. The next two tests were just abbreviations. I know I got perfect scores on those. I should have anyways. Shit was easy.

I guess I might as well enjoy my last night or so of aloneness. Is only 9:30 but I'm getting sleepy. I watched Stargate Atlantis ep 1 and 2 this morning. I had downloaded it since I don't have cable. It seems like it's pretty good. Those wraiths are some ugly bitches, I know that. The chick wraith was freaky. Might be an interesting show.

Needles suck

I had to go to the clinic to get a TB test today. I soooooooo hate needles. PLUS it stung. I think I was a better trooper than some of the people though, the entire class went at the same time. Hopefully I don't have some sort of reaction to it. It would seriously blow if I had to take medication for 6 months to make sure I didn't develop TB.

I took two tests today. One on chapter 3 and another on chapter 4. I don't think I did too good. I thought the same about the chapter 1 and 2 test but I made a 92 on one and 95 on another so that's pretty good. A few people have to retake one or the other since they failed.

I didn't even get up early to do my damn homework like I said I was. I didn't know homework would really be graded anyways. My chapter 3 homework was only partially done but I did the chapter 4 work. Ms. White was absent for most of the class. If she were there I would have probably been able to finish it. She really goes through all of the chapter and such and the worksheets and you get a very good understanding of what's going on. Ms. Lowe had to have the class in her stead and she just sprinted through the stuff and just had people run through the answers on the worksheets and if you had some sort of problem she told you she wasn't the one to ask about them so oh well but that's ok lol.

After the break we went over chapter 4 some and the worksheets. I was able to finish all of chapter 4 stuff. I make a point to actually volunteer to answer questions. I'd rather not do anything and then be called upon at random on a day where I didn't really study all that well. Volunteering answers when I have them will make that a lot less likely to happen. I STILL haven't glimpsed at those abbreviations. I have to do it sometime today and tomorrow because the test on those will be Friday. I really hope I at least made a passing grade on the chapter 3 and 4 tests...

too much stuff >.>

I had two tests in nursing class today. I think I bombed the first one and probably barely passed the second one. One day to absorb the information is not enough. I have homework tonight, we'll go over all of the worksheets tomorrow. Will go over the 3rd chapter and then take the chapter 3 test, go over the 4th chapter and take the chapter 4 test. Then we will be let out early to take a TB test which is mandatory and everybody has to take it or we can't go to clinical in 6 weeks. Friday we will take a test on a zillion abbreviations that I haven't even so much as glanced at yet and then get let out early to go back to the clinic for the results.

Somewhere in between all of this I have to find out some way of paying my bills for next month. Me getting a part-time job would be impossible. I will NOT be able to study and work at the same time. I barely have time as it is right now to try to grasp everything. I don't see how the people who've started classes while working will be able to do it. They're nuts but you have to do what you have to do I guess. I should really do my homework tonight but I think i'm going to turn in early and just get up at 3a.m. and do it then. I'm too sleepy and so not in the mood to read anything that's so uninteresting tonight.

I was talking to one of my young friends online tonight about careers. She's like 17 or so now I think. She said she doesn't know what she wants to do right now. She has a few years to decide though. Once she gets out of highschool and goes to college for a couple of years, perhaps she'll get some sort of direction. I told her the best thing she could do is go into the medical field but she said she doesn't want to go into any branch of it. I think it's just the naivete speaking. There are many different branches and one of them is sure to have something she'd be interested in. Plus, the higher education, the higher you can climb on the ladder in your particular field, the more benefits you'd get.

Trying to be a black female working in something like the computer industry will be very hard. I don't mind working hard to attain a goal but with so much outsourcing nowadays with most of the jobs going to people in india and china who have more experience and will work for a lot less pay, that'd be hard to make any real money IF you can get your foot in the door somewhere. Going into accounting or trying to become a lawyer are just as useless. There's no guarantee you'd be able to make any money at all on your own starting out. It would depend on who you know and I don't think that's a good thing. I wish I had started up these classes two or three years ago instead of wasting my time slacking off doing nothing. I could have been a RN by now if I had started sooner. I just didn't think I'd want to work in the medical field either. Stupid me.

First Day

Well I've officially started nursing aid training classes. Today was just orientation so we got out at around 10a.m. and I was able to make an appointment I had at 11:50 so that's good. I even got a ride home from class. This training seems to be pretty intense. It has a lot of ground to cover in a very short amount of time. I read the first chapter in the book I got but I doubt any of that shit has sunken in. We have a test on chapter 1 and 2 tomorrow and I don't know how I'm going to manage that. I'm a voraceous reader but even that particular skill won't help me if I'm not the least bit interested in what I'm reading. Its some straightforward stuff but my powers of retention, as far as memorizing definitions and things are concerned, has never been good. I might be seeing some dark days ahead.

My mom is finally talking to me a little today. I still don't know what crawled up her ass but that's ok. She says she wants to apply for a 1 bedroom apartment. After these 10 weeks are up she can do whatever the hell she wants. I don't know how she plans on paying bills when she hasn't done shit to pay any within the last 4 or 5 years but more power to her.

I seriously hope I can pass these classes and make it to clinical. I have to put on my friendly persona while I'm in classes. It isn't that I don't have communication skills -- I have excellent communication skills actually... -- I just would rather be by myself doing my own thing. Lucky for me I've never had a problem with criticism. I guess my brief stint as a 3d graphics artist will help me out after all because I use to seriously suck and wanted as much constructive criticism during that 'phase' of my life as possible to get better. I still think I suck but my level of suck is a lot higher than some of the people's work I've seen.

Someone from class said she wants to get some business cards printed up for her mom. I told her that if she buys the cards I'll do it for her. I don't know how many she'll be needing though. I hope not more than 10 or 20 because ink is fucking expensive damnit lol. I was thinking of charging her 25 dollars or such for some but in retrospect I don't think I will. Instead I'll ask her for a favor. She has a car so I'm considering asking her to teach me how to drive. I don't think that's too unreasonable anyways and besides I plan on trying to help as much as I can during class as possible (or to get any of I need it which will probably be more likely). It feels good to just be out and about again. I've missed it really.

I actually took the bus to class this morning. Was crazy. I am so NOT familiar with public transit and have only taken the bus once or twice in my life. I'm glad I decided to get out of the house super early. My class doesn't start until 8:30 but I was waiting for the bus by 6. Which was good considering I got on the right route number but going the WRONG way. I had called the transit station Friday and asked for directions. They didn't say I had to worry about which way the damn bus was going. I had to go way around in a circle to get to the transit station. I got a two week bus pass (grrr was 20 bucks, I should have gotten a 7 day one since it looks like I'll be able to arrange other means of transportation). Then, I got on another bus to take me near the facility where the classes are held. I got there without a minute to spare. It was good riding the bus though, I got to see where all it went on it's route and if I need to get somewhere else along it, like the mall, I'll know what to do. There's a little good to be found in everything it seems.

Psycho

I seriously need to move into a place and be by myself. So I only have to worry about me. My mother pissed me off so bad today. My brother had called from post, I guess he was bored or some shit. He was talking about how my bills are my bills and his bills are his bills and that he won't be able to help out here and shit blah blah blah so on and so forth. I was like I dun give a shit, I can pay my own bills. I have before so it's not like I'm going to allow myself to be put out and mom is no help so I'll just have to figure it out on my own. So we were basically just shooting the breeze really and hung up a few minutes later.

I come out of my room to get something to drink and my mom is creeping back downstairs and not saying shit to anybody. I go downstairs and she's down there crying and shit. I have absolutely no fucking idea why either (or I didn't then...). So I'm standing down there (instead of just a drink I wanted to make myself something to eat but anyways) and I'm asking her what's wrong and she's just giving me the silent treatment. I figure the only thing that could have happened between then and earlier this morning (I went downstairs earlier for who knows why, i don't even know why, and she was in a fine mood ... nothing particular going on she was just watching tv and asked why I came down so early in the morning) was that she was listening in on our conversation. Though what could have triggered her bad mood is anyone's idea since we weren't talking about shit.

My brother had told me that he might be coming over when he called and he did like an hour or two later (while I'm still getting the silent treatment from my crazy ass mother). He comes in my room and asks me what her problem is. I tell him I don't fuckin know and that she probably listened to our phone conversation and got pissed off somehow. He goes back downstairs (she had an Elvis Presley CD blasting and getting on my fucking nerves) and he comes back up and tells me she left. I'm like wtf. I told him to go get her and to get the damn debit card she has and don't take no for an answer (he went downstairs to begin with because I asked him to go to the store and get something for me or whatever). He hops in his car and is gone for over an hour. He finally comes back with her and I ask him what's wrong and he said she listened to our phone conversation and she got upset because she's worthless and doesn't help pay bills and shit. I start to say I wonder why the hell she's waiting until just then to feel bad about that (considering she hasn't paid a fucking bill here since we moved in almost 4 years ago, all this shit is always on me but oh well). I guess whatever bug was up her ass is trying to die. She fixed him something to eat. She still wouldn't say a word to me but I'm not going to worry about it. Two can play this game. I'm going to ignore her for the next month and see how she likes that shit. Will just tell her to not even talk to me or ask me for a god damn thing. She wants to be childish she can be childish but she should leave me out of it. I have other things I need to concentrate on and would rather ignore her altogether and that's what I plan on doing for as long as possible. She doesn't do anything but drag me the fuck down anyways.

The Day After

Well, my brother is out on bond. He doesn't seem to happy though. The guy he and his friend beat up didn't even appear at the preliminary hearing. The girl who was involved did but in true ghetto fashion she came out looking like a dumbass. All the better for him. It took 190 bucks to bond him out. He doesn't have enough left to pay on his car. I'm going to TRY to see if I can get some cash and help him out. I don't know if I'll be able to do anything though, I can't even scrape together 20 dollars for a bus pass right now. He's leaving here to stay on post, he's restricted to the base until further notice. I bet that really sucks but oh well, nothing he can do about it. I guess they want to make sure he doesn't try to jump bail or some shit like that. I'm pretty confident he'll beat this aggravated assault charge. That girl is really a dumb ass chick and she makes me so sick. Trying to ruin his fucking career for no reason. All he did for her. No good deed goes unpunished. I'll be sure to remember that for the future.

damn server

Geeze, soooooooo much shit happened earlier today but I wasn't able to blog about it since the damn server blew up or something. Here's what I wanted to post around 2a.m.:

Stupid Bitch Ass Whores

My brother was just arrested (it's 2a.m. when I composed this message...site was down for a bit but anyways). A couple of months ago my brother had this hoodrat girlfriend. She had a kid by some guy or whatever. Ok so one night the guy decides to start beating her ass up and down the street, literally..., and she runs and calls my brother. Now my brother is a pretty stand-up type of guy where women are concerned. Most military guys are like that, somebody needs help you help them right? My brother hops in his car, gets a friend, and meet up at this chick's house and commence to beating the hell out of that guy to make him see the error in his ways. Now you'd think any person who truly wanted help would be grateful but no ...(her name is Angela and she lives in Wynton so if you know her go slap her dumb ass...). She decides to call the fucking cops. Apparently the other guy who was involved has been in jail for some time over this matter. They are just now catching up to my brother and they found him through me. Doesn't that suck? Sadly I was not the one who answered the fucking door, my not so bright mother did and she told them he was here and so that was that. I've called his superiors and left messages with two of them. Because he's in the military he will probably be out by tomorrow or Saturday. One thing about the military, if one of their soldiers get in a little bit of trouble, they will bail them the fuck out. Especially over little shit like this.

On another note, because my brother will be sitting in jail possibly until Saturday I get to use his money to pay the phone bill and the light bill so I don't have to keep stressing about it. It's possibly some bad karma on his part now that I think about it. He wasn't planning on helping me with any of the bills this month. Oh, the irony.

I can't sleep

It's now past 3a.m. I hate being woken up. So now I probably won't get back to sleep until 6. Being up this early is bad. Let me show you all a typical conversation in #animeone (yes it's an anime channel ...). This sort of thing is why being up this early happens to be bad.

[03:29] < slahsh> yeah elect bush again so maybe he will have time to go to war with north korea next
[03:30] <+x_Ryo-ohki_x> slahsh all you have to do to north korea is stop food shipments and let those bastards starve to death
[03:30] <+ravenel> why are they bastards, ryo
[03:30] <+x_Ryo-ohki_x> all that stuff in north korea, is just so they can have leverage to get more aid
[03:31] <+x_Ryo-ohki_x> i say let them fire off some of those nukes
[03:31] <+x_Ryo-ohki_x> and then make them glow in the dark
[03:31] <+Borg-Sy> why not bomb all of the world and get it over with?
[03:31] <+x_Ryo-ohki_x> but that's just my opinion

I guess this conversation got started because I told everybody that my brother was just taken to jail and how he probably won't be there too long because he's in the military, plus he got some commendations for things he did in iraq etc... so it just escalated to other topics. We started talking about the upcoming presidentail elections and shit as well and about how it's useless to vote since the electorial college picks the president anyways. That shit the regular people go out to do is nothing but a nationwide public opinion poll IMO. Anyways, time to try and get back to sleep.

FINALLY

Woo! I got accepted to go to enrichment services nursing training program. I'll start on the 19th. I'm so fucking relieved. So now all I have to do is figure out how I'm going to make it there. The first day is orientation. I suppose I could call my dad or my aunt and ask one of them to send me some money so I can get a bus pass. I have time to figure it out anyways.

Today was so lame and boring. I've spent the last few hours watching my brother play star wars on his xbox. I played tetris a little with him and he kicked my ass repeatedly but that's ok, I'll get him next time. He was finally testing out that dvd copy program he got as well. The end result was ok, watchable but not dvd quality. A little on the same level with vhs quality maybe. Better to use two cds to have a movie than buying 1 dvd for 30 bucks however you look at it though. I guess he'll be renting his movies instead of buying them. I don't think he really watches the special features and shit anyways.

I wonder when my brother is going to teach me how to drive. He said he'd teach me and now he's like well I'll do it when I have time. I probably should keep nagging him about it. He didn't really do anything today. Will see what he's doing tomorrow. I need to call my case worker Monday and tell him I'll be going to these classes and to see what kind of changes I'll need to make and such.

My brother pisses me off...

I swear sometimes he's ok but most of the time he gets on my nerves. He's in the military and he isn't supposed to be staying here any damn ways. I live in public housing. He should be on post in the baracks some damn where instead of here. What makes me mad is that he comes back here and turns the air conditioning off and expects people to go to sleep while it's burning up. It gets like 80 degrees (nearing 90) in these apartments in the summertime. I'm waiting for one of these night for it to creep past 80 degrees and my mom will die in her sleep because of the heat. I'm going to have to make that jackass understand that with the medication she takes SHE CANNOT BE HOT FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME OR SHE WILL HAVE A FUCKING STROKE.

Now, I assume he turns the AC off because it gets too cold in the room he's in. SO WHY WON'T HE CLOSE HIS GOD DAMN VENT? Well, I all ready know the answer to that question really. With the AC on, if you close your vent it makes more noise than when it's open. You know like wind whistling and what not. But let me state again that he's in the military. He's been over in Iraq. He's had to sleep with BULLETS ZINGING over his head and you're telling me he can't get to sleep because of the noise the vent makes? Give me a fucking break.

What's taking so long?!?

I went for my second interview at enrichment services on the 1st of this month. It's been a week already and I haven't heard back one way or the other. Classes start on the 17th so I'm wondering what is going on. If I can't go to these classes I'll need to get at least a part-time job or some shit instead for a couple of months until I can wait to apply again. I don't get what the hold-up is. I'm sure they know who they want to attend and who they'll turn away by now. I don't have time for all this god damn waiting.

Stupid Bandai :(

I can't believe it. They licensed Kenran Butoh Sai. I haven't been watching many of the new series. I gave up on Madlax and Kono Minikukumo Utsukushii Sekai early on since they both sorta sucked ass. Midori no Hibi has ended also. I won't have anything to watch besides Aishiteruze Baby. God forbid that one get's licensed. I haven't watched any of Gantz anime (which was also licensed) but I do read the manga so I don't really care about that. I guess I'll spend time finishing up some of the older series that I haven't watched the end of. I still haven't looked at the last 4 or 5 eps of PlanetES and the end of Chrno Crusade so I'll get to that. I guess I still have a couple of long series to continue watching like Naruto (which I'm surprised hasn't been licensed yet) and Full Metal Alchemist (grr Funimation got that a while ago... the horror). I tell ya, sad days ahead for the fansub community since all the good shit keeps getting licensed before it finishes airing. I don't know about you but I'm not going to pay for a series until I've already seen it. I made that mistake before when I got Evangelion a long time ago and it seriously blew chunks. Only the first 5 or 6 episodes were good and then it turned to shit.

Such a boring day

There is absolutely nothing going on. I don't have any plans for the 4th. I may go to the riverwalk tomorrow night to see the fireworks but I doubt it. My aunt and my dad called yesterday. They were out and about getting some hotwings (they live in California). My dad said he'd buy me a car if I got my license. I wonder if he really meant it because if he did, I will sure as hell try my best to get on in the next couple of months. Would be nice.